Every time I breathe...

So I realised today why I have been avoiding my morning quiet times with God these last few days. It just pinged into my head as I was walking through the laundry; I don't want to spend time with God in case He makes me do something I don't want to do.

And as I thought about this, the absurdity of it became clear. I have had a lousy few days, because I have been missing His presence and His peace on my day, but I was convinced that if I sat down with my Bible, I would end up having Him plan my day in a way that I didn't want and that I wouldn't achieve the things that need doing around here.

So instead, I have been grasping time and trying to squeeze as much into each 24 hours as I can, convinced that I just don't have a spare hour to use on God. Its funny how when you actually see that in print, you realise how dumb it is, yet it can float around in your head for days, making perfect sense.

Its funny how negative thoughts just naturally build the longer I am away from God's presence. I become clouded on what He is really like, convinced that He is a Taskmaster determined to smack me into line, a belief system that kept me running from Him for many years.

And yet over the past year, God has drawn me into the most lovely, intimate knowledge of Him. He has become my safe place, my refuge from the madness of life, and my most Divine organiser of daily affairs. The days I commit to Him always have such a flow and a fruitfulness about them.

In avoiding His presence, I have actually been experiencing the very things I didn't want to; wasted time, little satisfaction and severe de-motivation.

There is such an irony in the way life pans out.
This is not the first time I have learnt this lesson
It probably won't be the last.
But I know I am further along than I was yesterday. And even further than last year.
God keeps revealing His gentleness, His consistency and His grace when I feel I least deserve it and that is what I love most about Him.

The driving, the agitation, the accusations that keep me from His presence are not God.
God lures me with His love,
with His extravagent grace,
with His gentle peace and harmony...

This song really sums up where I am at at this time in my life... God is so good.


Every Time I Breathe by Big Daddy Weave

I am sure all of Heaven's heard me cry
As I tell You all the reasons why
This life is just too hard
But day by day, without fail
I'm finding everything I need
In everything that You are to me

Every time I breathe, You seem a little bit closer
I never want to leave
I want to stay in Your warm embrace
Oh, basking in the glory shining from Your face
And every time I get another glimpse of Your heart
I realize it's true: that You are so marvelous, God...
And I am so in love with You

Yeah, so in love with You

Now how could I after knowing One so great
Respond to You in any way that's less than all I have to give
But by Your grace I want to love You not with what I say
But everyday in the way that my life is lived

Every time I breathe, You seem a little bit closer
I never want to leave
I want to stay in Your warm embrace
Oh, basking in the glory shining from Your face
And every time I get another glimpse of Your heart
I realize it's true: that You are so marvelous, God...
And I am so in love with You

Wrapped in Your mercy, I want to live and never leave
I am held by how humble, yet overwhelmed by Your majesty
Captured by grace and now I'm finding I am free
You are marvelous, God, and knowing You is everything

Every time I breathe, You seem a little bit closer
I never want to leave
I want to stay in Your warm embrace
Oh, basking in the glory shining from Your face
And every time I get another glimpse of Your heart
I realize it's true: that You are so marvelous, God...
And I am so in love with You

Yeah, so in love with You

I am so in love with You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f62y7DHw0w