Baby Steps

Ok so its not the prettiest change in the world, but its a step onto the road of being a messie-no- more! I am very proud of this little alteration above my washing machine (I even screwed it into the wall myself). After reading how to change our organizational thoughts and habits, I was reading about the KISS method (Keep It super Simple) where the author was expressing my current philosophy; that things need to be fast and effective and small so that the changes are maintainable rather than being flash in the pan. (my own paraphrasing) So I made a super-quick, super-easy change that will eliminating an annoying habit I have accumulated over the last year.

Basically, whenever I empty my lint trap, (which it is usually in between loads and hanging out, etc,) I have this terrible habit of dropping the lint on the floor in a gap between my machine and the linen press. Whilst I do eventually bin all the lint, it just about builds up to the size of a small jumper before I get rid of it!

So I installed this nift, ugly, $1.50 towel holder. On it I have put a cleaning cloth (so it is easier to quickly wipe over my machine between uses, which I never do!) and a hand towel so I can dry my hands on something other than my skirt, BUT here is the cherry on the cake; I have poked a freezer bag into one of the holder sections so that I can drop my lint in, then when its full, i just take the whole bag and bin it! I am so proud. For all you cleanies out there, I am sure you are like 'what?' but for me, this is a step into organised living. This book is making me realise how disorganised I have been not just in my home, but my time management and my life. I am realising that I can get so much more out of life if I organise more efficiently, and save time for things that really count. Not to mention not living with chores hanging over my head all the time! So here's to my ugly laundry holder. Wahoo!

Oh BTW in the spare hole, I am going to poke my delicates bag, if I can find it under all my washing. Not that I have ever used it, but now is a good time to start!!

Loving this book!

Got this book (The Messies Manual' by Sandra Felton) today after a trip down the line to pick up an air conditioner for my poor, sweltering parents. We passed Koorong so I couldn't resist a quick peek in. Had been eyeing this author off for awhile and finally committed to buy today! I am only 2 chapters in and am LOVING it! I actually underlined things in the intro can you believe? And I am generally not an underliner hehe
Its awesome though, it covers the whole dynamic of creating and maintaining a tidy and beautiful home to enjoy and not just the practical sides, but already she addresses underlying attitudes and experiences that prevent us 'messies' from getting out acts together!
I am sooo inspired! Gotta stop blogging cos its like 38 in our spare room and i am HOT! And I have a date with a book! xox

Feeling Fresh

We just had a little impromptu getaway to Corinella, near Philip Island. It was sooo nice to sneak away, spur of the moment. Our good friends Beck and Seth invited us to spend a couple of nights with them in their family's holiday home and we just chilled watching dvds, chatting and hitting the beach. Hannah loved chasing sea gulls and kept making us take her into the water to 'wash her hands'' hehe

Every time I get away I always come back psyched to get my house in order. I have been working so hard and am feeling so inspired! Especially knowing we are here for a bit longer. 2 new goals I have are:
1. am going to start a herb garden (well herbs in pots); a bit easier than a whole veggie patch, but so rewarding.

2. Am planning to organise my scrap space and get my stampin up stuff into order as well as my church stuff so that I have a nice, uncluttered space to work from. Very exciting.

Oh yeah! My stampin up stuff came so I am now officially a demonstrator!! If anyone wants a stamping party, let me know, or if u want to buy stuff. Stay cool people, xox





We had fish for tea last night and Hannah took great delight in eating her lemon wedge, thanks to Nathan's encouragement. It was pretty cute to see her wrinkle her little face and say 'yucky!' however, it couldn't have been so bad cos she kept playing with it and sucking it aftewards.

Yay!

I just made a snapfish book; I am so excited! Its of our wedding; I haven't done anything with our pics so far (they were pre-digital era) so hardly anyone has seen them. Now I have made a mini-album, its so cool, although snapfish is really limited (only 2 fonts!)
Anyway, I am stoked and thought I would share! hehehe

Big Talk

This cowgirl doesn't have the blues! more about that later....

Last night Nathy came home and we had a big, lovely catch up. It started with me actually taking the effort to say 'How was your day, sweetie?' Before launching into the details of my own. We had the nicest time and really enjoyed eachothers company. We have to do this more often!
Normally, we are so busy with routine that we either do a quick run down over tea or skip it all together and just launch into our own things for the evening or sometimes watch a pic together.

So in our talk we came to the conclusion that we are not ready to move yet! We both feel there are some things that need working on here at home, in our finances, our community and ourselves before we launch ourselves down the line. We both feel a little disappointed, but also have that peaceful feeling when you know God is saying, 'Wait.'
The strong theme I feel in myself is Closure and Contentment

Closure, as in unfinished business and friendships that I want to develop further before leaving

and

Contentment as in learning the art of happiness where ever I am at in life.
Philippians 4:12 (NIV) I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

So we are going to make the best of our little house for now, get on top of our tax and find some closure here first. I am kind of happy to at least not be in limbo and am a little excited and inspired to beautify my house a bit. Had lost interest for awhile there thinking we would be moving soon.

So the plan is to move probably in about 12 months! Which means I can enjoy this place a little more.

Top 5 reasons its great having a small house
1. Its easy to clean
2. Its cheaper and easier to decorate; less space = less ornaments and furniture needed
3. Its forces you to be organised and use the space wisely
4. Its cozy and homely
5. Its easy and cheap to warm and cool it!

So as for the whole cowgirl thing, maybe not, but I do have the hat for it. I have to say I am glad to be in the valley a little longer! I went for a drive today and ended up at the local oval where I just walked and breathed and prayed amongst the mountains and hot summer air. It was glorious! I am more than happy to get the chance to enjoy it for just a little longer!

Snapfish deal

Oh BTW, snapfish has a deal on their 8" by 11" photobooks; were $39.95 down to $19.95 for the next week, if anyone is interested.
Also 6 x 4 prints are down to 9c each. You can place your orders online and pick them up at rabbit photo or have them sent to your home. When you first sign up you get 20 prints for free. Use code CLEARAU at checkout.
Also calendars half price down to $12 using your own pics.
Thought you guys may be interested to know. http://www4.snapfish.com.au/store/t_=121729607

Cool Idea

Ok I am terrrible with consistency in my housework, I am FOREVER trying to come up with systems that will get me more on the ball. I usually have one big day where I do EVERYthing but because it turns out being a huge day, I put it off.
SO I have come up with this little-a-day system that just may work.
I assign a task to each day of the week (except Sunday) beginning with the letter of that day.
Here is my idea:
Monday - Menu planning (and grocery shopping)
Tuesday - Toilet areas (toilet, bathroom, laundry)
Wednesday - Washing (well, main washing day, will still have to do a load here and there throughout the week, but this is the day where the laundry will be EMPTY! Amen to that!!)
Thursday-Tidying up (a general day where I can tidy clothes that have piled up, clean out my pantry or tidy Hanny's room etc)
Friday- Floors (Vacc and Mop)
Saturday - Shower and Sheets (Scrub the shower and change all the linen)

I only see 2 issues
1. I want to clean my toilet more than once a week. Although u can get those cleany thingys that float in your cistern, can't you?

2. There is no day for dusting. But lets be honest, is that really a problem?? hehe I HATE dusting so I avoid it like the plague. Maybe I can do it on my general tidy day. hmmm. I just don't want each day to be too huge and I reckon dusting needs a day of its own...

What do you think? Do you guys clean bit by bit, day by day or do it in big chunks?
And what's your best tip for organisation and cleaning routine around the house?

Raw

'We are not battling for your daughters' life.
We are battling for your heart.'

These are the words I felt the Lord impress on my heart just moments ago. My eyes are red and puffy, my cheeks are streaked with tears and I am raging in the arms of my God.
No great catastrophe has happened,
I have actually had a wonderful day.
Let me backtrack.
I am reading the shack and in it I am facing the deepest fear I have ever known; the fear of losing my child.
I knew this book would be a challenge. I didn't know whether to go ahead and read it or not. Felt confused and afraid of facing my fears. But God.... oh those two famous words! But God said 'Read it with me.'
And so I have. And now I am sitting here, two thirds in and my soul is screaming with unresolved conflict.
This post is very raw, its hard to write. This is the most vulnerable I have made myself yet, but I feel to keep going.
I am holding a grudge against God for the possibility that I could lose anyone that I love. I am angry at Him already for something I fear He is capable of allowing to happen to me. I don't know how to trust a God who could let me go through anything like that.
I hardly got through post-natal depression and that was nothing compared to so many other nightmares there are to face in this world. Inside, I am terrified. I have seen people who have lost. I have seen God's grace through them. But it doesn't seem to be enough! I know that I have no way of judging that. I know that God is good and loves me. But I don't know how to fully let go when I feel like the bottom of my world could fall out at any moment.
Sometimes I just don't know how not to want to run away and lock myself and my loved ones in an inpenetratable fortress, as if that was possible. This was a huge part of my depression. How do I live in the face of potential harm? Is God the powerful protector, keeping my family from danger or is He the Father of Abraham who compels me to love him despite what may happen to me or my loved ones?
I feel incapable to decide. Who is He?
How can I trust Him? How can I trust myself to not let bitterness invade my soul in the face of tragedy?
And then as I sit on the couch crying, I feel Him say, 'You are not begging for your daughter's life. To let go of the fear and anguish and false sense of control that worry gives is not to let your daughter fall prey to the evils of this world! You are not fighting against me to save her life. We are fighting for your heart! I am fighting against the wall of distrust that has always stopped you from fully entering into the safety of My arms. '
And so, I don't really have anything else to say, becuase although I am humbled and stilled, the questions still ravage if I let them take control.
But somehow, I know God is working with me. I don't quite get it yet, but I feel oddly peaceful.
I am deliberating whether to post this or not, but I feel I need to. Everything is kicking against it. But look, its who I am right now. No, I don't want the whole world to know it, but so far, those of you who read, I trust enough not to judge. And anyway, I just feel that little prompting pushing me to do this. So I am putting it out there. I hope that is ok.
Love you guys. xox

The Shack

Came home today tired, restless and PMS-ey, overwhelmed by my RIDICULOUSLY disorganized house (at this moment a reflection of my disorganized brain.) Had a conversation with nath trying to work out how we will organise the ever-present avalanche of laundry, paper and toys that frequently threaten our existence. Felt so wound up that after getting hanny off to bed I made a beeline for my bathroom, played some restful, instrumental music and ate my dinner (a bowl of porridge) in the warm and bubbly tub. I then spent a very enjoyable 40 minutes or so getting pruny and growing more and more intrigued as I started getting to the really good bits of the Shack.

I am already captivated and fascinated by this book. I love it when something has the ability to transend your current understanding to other spheres of possibility. It is positively refreshing, mind tangling and humbling. I love feeling so small in God's big universe. Reminds me that I don't have Him all figured out after all and how delightful that is! There is such incredible room for scope within the ridiculously finite confines of our limited understanding. I love it!

Love the creative and poetic liberty the author has taken; can completely understand why people have critiqued his approach, but I doubt this book is intended to be taken as gospel. More as a bit of a shake-up for all the dry, dead and dusty views we often accumulate of God. He has an amazing nack of putting intangibility into words!

I feel anxiety and control slip away as I surrender to the enigma of an incomprehendible yet divinely intimate God....

Definately lightened my mood and helped me to feel rested and peaceful.

Oh yeah, we got our deck fixed! Yay!!! Got to sit outside as the sun dipped below the mountains, sipping tea and sitting in my daggy chair that I dragged outside.

Note to self: I really need to spend more time outside!

Perspective

Marriage is hard. Sometimes I am tempted to compare nathan to other husbands; 'oh if only nathan did that' etc but I am always reminded of 3 things:

1. I am no piece of cake myself
2. My husband is an AMAZING gift from God and you don't look a gift horse in the mouth!
3. Sometimes a little perspective is all that is needed.

For example, I was talking today about some things with a good friend and she gave me some real insight and a different way of looking at life. I realised (again) that every problem has a solution, that often things are not the way they seem. I am so appreciative of the wonderful women in my life who help me to stretch and broaden my views on myself, life and marriage. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. I think marriage is a concerted effort on each partners behalf to be that one person who will always stand for them, see the best in them and stick by them through thick and thin. Sometimes it is tempting for me to nitpick and nag, but in reality, I want to be my husbands biggest cheerleader in life.

Prov 12:4 says
'An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.'

This verse seems really full on, but I can totally relate to it. Pointing out where someone is falling short only brings shame and resentment. Counting my blessings and celebrating all the beautiful, amazing qualities of my hubby and telling him how much I admire him strengthens him and gives him wings to fly into his future and his dreams. I so want to be that wife for him, all the time, not just when I find it easy (like after he has bought me flowers. I want to be just as nice when he forgets to take the garbage out hehe)

Another verse that has convicted and challenged me is Prov 14:1
'The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.'

Nothing pulls a man and a home down faster than constant critism and distrust. A wise wife builds into her hubby's life with kind and gracious words and she is rewarded for it with harmony in her home and a man who is empowered to reach his full potential.

One last scripture that really encourages me is Prov 31:28,29. It says of a virtuous wife that
'Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “ Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.”

I love the wisdom of God and the wonderful rewards He blesses us with when we live by His principles. I love how He is ironing out my crinkles through marriage. I still feel very wrinkly, but I am getting there! xox

Bliss Defined

Bliss (blis): noun the state of being at the end of the day when
1) the children are asleep in bed
2) the dishes are done and the lounge has been tidied
3) hubby is out mowing the lawn
4) a cup of hot tea awaits at the computer desk

This is my quiet time, my reward at the end of a long day. To sit and chill and cruise facebook and blogspot, to catch up on emails and breathe the warm summer air coming in through the spare room window.
I sigh and feel my body relax.
Is there honestly any harder work than what a mum does everyday?

cooking and cleaning
washing and folding
kissing bumps and resolving conflicts
running errands
contemplating and planning for the future
reflecting and developing ourselves daily
tucking in and kissing goodnight

That's just a few things that spring to mind, but there is so much more.
We contemplate and try to develop our childrens' physical, spiritual, emotional, social, relational and intellectual development daily. We are always pressing on, forging new ground and developing our skills so that we can be better wives, mothers, lovers, daughters, friends and sisters.
And its hard! Really hard.
The tasks seem so thankless. Sometimes you and God are the only ones to even notice, let alone appreciate your hard work.
Sometimes I feel like a mouse on a wheel; work work work, clean clean clean and yet I am still knee deep in toys and clothes every new day.

BUT I remind myself, that this is what is making me grow.
Without stretch there can be no development.

I am really struck lately with the analogy of working out and how to get ripped you have to actually tear your muscles by increasing the weight you lift on a regular basis. The time between weight sessions is a time for healing so that the muscle can then be worked on again, stretched and torn and healed to so that they expand, enlarge and strengthen. (At least these are my layman terms from what has been told to me about weightlifting)

I can see that this is a principle that is carried forward in life. Just when we get over one obstacle, another seems to come up and it seems easy to get swamped and discouraged and feel like God isn't doing a good job looking after us. In reality, He is allowing these increases in pressure and weight to develop our strength and trust in Him. Without the challenges and trials of life, we would never grow, never develop our true potential. It is through these difficulties that we learn patience, wisdom, endurance, trust. We learn just how reliable God is in getting us through, when instead of blaming Him, we see that He is actually using these hardships to show us His strength, His love and His faithfulness. Not that God causes the sicknesses and traumas, but I do believe He uses them to draw us close and teach us to lean on Him for His strength and His ability to get us through each day.

Working out hurts!
But it does get easier, the results become more satisfying and the load you can bear increases.

I always used to look at mothers and think, 'I just don't have what it takes to be that kind of woman!' they always seemed so strong, sacrificial and loving, able to weather lifes' storms with amazing tenacity. I thought I would never be able to be like them.
I now see that I had the cart before the horse; they weren't this way until they became mothers. It was the long hours and hardships and ongoing workload that built the amazing stamina and strength that I so admired.
It didn't come easy for them and it doesn't come easy for us new mothers.
But as we persevere, we are developing amazing strength of character. We are being shaped and molded in this long season, ripped and healed so that we can be stronger than ever before, wiser than we have ever been and more selfless than we thought possible.

It is hard, but everything that is worth something is going to cost us.
Sometimes in mothering, it feels like our sanity!
But we are not going to lose our minds: we are ok; better than ok! We are doing great and it doesn't matter whether we are bench pressing 10 or 50; the important thing is that we are growing and moving forward, stronger this year than we were last year.
And that doesn't mean we can't have bad days!

Sometimes I think we are trying hard to be the people we already are.
We use our actions to try to prove that we are worthwhile and loveable and press on thinking that one day we will actually feel loved and worthwhile if we can just do enough.
But God knows our heart and He loves us for who we are; His creation, His precious children, not for what we do or where we are at in our journey.

I used to think the Proverbs 31 woman was an impossible standard.
And then God showed me something.
I am her.
And so are you.
Because deep down, we all have that God-given desire to be the best we can be for our families and those around us.
The desire may be buried beneath trauma, depression, confusion or discouragement, but look deep enough and it is there.
God has planted in each of us a desire to grow and be a blessing to those around us.

Its one of the beautiful qualities He has placed in His women. We reflect the beauty and mercy of God to our families and the people in our lives. The mother-heart and tenderness of our heavenly father.
It takes time to develop our character. Sometimes it takes time for the desire in our hearts to become translated into our actions and character. We often fall short, but we are getting there! And the great news is that our character does not define our worthwile to God. It may define how many friends you have and how happy you are, but it will NEVER define God's amazing love for you.
Sanctification is an ongoing process and God is with us every step.
So I think we all deserve a pat on the back whether we are bench pressing 100 or we are panting and puffing in between lifts.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know that it is also the best thing I will ever do.

So kudos to us all for today, I say, and strength and courage for tomorrow!

We are getting stronger and God is faithful! We love our families and they love us. What could be more blissful?

Mummy and Hanny, Christmas Day 2008

Oh and one more thing; I have friends and family who have not been able to have children, so I want to strongly say what I have just expressed is directed towards us mums, specifically, but women who can't have kids are just as incredible, strong and capeable as those of us that can.

Motherhood is the season that I am currently being shaped by.

For those who aren't mums, it will be some other incredible, challenging and worthwhile endeavour that the Lord is using to strengthen, challenge and develop you into the amazing woman you are destined to be.

So its not just mums but all of us women who rock and are blessed with an incredible ability to represent God's mercy on earth, whether to our own children or to someone elses.

Just because

Lately my posts are kind of long, so I thought if I write more regularly they will be more manageable, bite-sized chunks. Today's post is just because I want to post these pics of my mum and Hanny.

I love seeing the relationship between the 2 generations. Not having grown up with grandparents (my only one died when I was 4) I really miss the notion of having really special ppl in your life, asides from parents.

I look at Hanny with her sets of grandparents, and I just love it. It must be a very special thing, to see your children have children.

These pics were taken while mum stayed at our house the other night; dad was spending his last night in hospital so we invited her up for a movie and it was so nice having her here. We watched Spanglish - a movie I totally adore; mum loved it and even Nathan said he enjoyed it. If you haven't seen it, watch it! Its so cool. Next morning, she and Hanny looked so gorgeous just chilling in my delightfully daggy old chair (I recently moved it from hanny's room, where it was buried under her growing collection of soft toys to the side of my hutch near the sliding door and have appointed it as my reading nook and morning quiet time retreat), so I couldn't resist snapping a few pics and dreaming of when I get my SLR!

The New Year

So, I don't have the best track record with New Year's Resolutions, but I really feel compelled to work on areas in my life and have a little more vision and focus for 09.

Here are the plans:

1. Step forward in ministry; don't know whether to undertake study, etc, but I have things burning on my heart and I feel to cruise forward and not be afraid! I really think its time that my dreams got some roots.

2. Start using my crafting for an income; small scale, anyway. My goal is to save up for a digital SLR using money made from either card making/selling, or Stampin' Up parties or classes.

3. Being a littly healthier with eating; no radical diets, really just using a little wisdom and control, not just for weight loss, but to treat my body well and practice more godly discipline. I have been getting better and better over the years, but I would like to take a bigger step forward in learning to not overeat, but to stop when I am satisfied. Or according to this motto that I love; when I am filled to an elegant sufficiency!

4. Really rather than being a goal, I have more of a vague urging to just continue pressing forward and powering on spiritually, with regular morning times with God, more courage to face my fears and more calm and positivity in my life. This will be a year where I will move at the rate God wants for my life, rather than shrinking back and letting pessimism or fear of failure run the reigns. God has shown Himself to me in amazing ways in 2008 and I want to live out what He is doing in my life, continuing to say a big fat NO to negative thoughts and self defeating actions that would try to pull down what He says, who He is and where He is leading.

So yeah, really that is the goal for 2009. On reflecting on 2008, it has been a really wonderful year; new friends, deeper friendships, mental and spiritual healing, financial prosperity (or at least more freedom than years past), creative endeavours, improved family relationships, and watching our beautiful daughter grow. The real highlight of 2008 has been being lead to Activate and knowing without doubt that we are planted in this house. I have never felt more at home or felt so connected to a church before. I just love it and I love how good God is.

Actually, as I think about it, one more area for growth I need to give attention to for 2009 is my marriage. As time ticks its easy to become more picky and less respectful to eachother. Marriage should be an arena for mutual grace. Rather than snatching for 'what I deserve' or griping when I feel mistreated, I want our marriage to be a reflection of Christ's love and grace.

Our marriage is far better than ever and we are learning to truly accept eachother for who we are. We are coming up for 6 years on January the 4th and I am proud of how far we have come. It isn't easy, but between marriage and parenting, we have an amazing opportunity for growth if we keep our focus right. It is an incredible journey.

So I would say that my goal in marriage for 2009 is quite simple really; It is what my mother in law wrote on our wedding card. Simple and true, she wrote; Be nice to each other. Always. and I think if I can live this one out, I will be doing well. Its really just a spin on the old 'Treat everyone how you want to be treated.' And I think it is great advice.

So on that note, here's to 2009; may God bless it and shape us more and more and may we be able to say this time next year that we are further along now than last year. Not necessarily in position or popularity or with multiple goals under belt, but further along in our relationship with God, knowing Him more intimately than we ever have. God bless to you all from us, xox

Happy New Year!

The Craft Bug

Oh, I am so enjoying the little crafts I have been doing the last couple of days. I think after Chrissy and now that dad is home and well and things have settled, I am finding a bit of craft really therapeutic. Sometimes I get what I call 'Creative Constipation' where I accumulate all these ideas and get inspired left right and centre but can't produce one thing from it all. I have been like that lately but have decided to downscale my grand plans and just make a little thing here or there. Just small things like I had this paper that I loved so I stuck it on painted canvas to put on the wall. No biggie, but quick, fun and creative and satisfying just to have something to show for all my inspiration.

Oh the plan is that I will be signing up as a Stampin' Up demonstrator this month (yay!) but also, this year I have decided to branch out a little with my crafts either selling my cards or doing party plan for stampin' up; also want to expand Creative Ladies at church, maybe change the night, etc and hopefully if we move soon, I want to have regular craft nights at my place for all the ladies who keep wanting to get together. So I will keep you guys posted as to where I am going with that idea. Maybe even thinking of Stampin Up card making nights where we can gather, or maybe just some random fun nights, etc, so yeah, we'll see what happens.