1) the children are asleep in bed
2) the dishes are done and the lounge has been tidied
3) hubby is out mowing the lawn
4) a cup of hot tea awaits at the computer desk
This is my quiet time, my reward at the end of a long day. To sit and chill and cruise facebook and blogspot, to catch up on emails and breathe the warm summer air coming in through the spare room window.
I sigh and feel my body relax.
Is there honestly any harder work than what a mum does everyday?
cooking and cleaning
washing and folding
kissing bumps and resolving conflicts
running errands
contemplating and planning for the future
reflecting and developing ourselves daily
tucking in and kissing goodnight
That's just a few things that spring to mind, but there is so much more.
We contemplate and try to develop our childrens' physical, spiritual, emotional, social, relational and intellectual development daily. We are always pressing on, forging new ground and developing our skills so that we can be better wives, mothers, lovers, daughters, friends and sisters.
And its hard! Really hard.
The tasks seem so thankless. Sometimes you and God are the only ones to even notice, let alone appreciate your hard work.
Sometimes I feel like a mouse on a wheel; work work work, clean clean clean and yet I am still knee deep in toys and clothes every new day.
BUT I remind myself, that this is what is making me grow.
Without stretch there can be no development.
I am really struck lately with the analogy of working out and how to get ripped you have to actually tear your muscles by increasing the weight you lift on a regular basis. The time between weight sessions is a time for healing so that the muscle can then be worked on again, stretched and torn and healed to so that they expand, enlarge and strengthen. (At least these are my layman terms from what has been told to me about weightlifting)
I can see that this is a principle that is carried forward in life. Just when we get over one obstacle, another seems to come up and it seems easy to get swamped and discouraged and feel like God isn't doing a good job looking after us. In reality, He is allowing these increases in pressure and weight to develop our strength and trust in Him. Without the challenges and trials of life, we would never grow, never develop our true potential. It is through these difficulties that we learn patience, wisdom, endurance, trust. We learn just how reliable God is in getting us through, when instead of blaming Him, we see that He is actually using these hardships to show us His strength, His love and His faithfulness. Not that God causes the sicknesses and traumas, but I do believe He uses them to draw us close and teach us to lean on Him for His strength and His ability to get us through each day.
Working out hurts!
But it does get easier, the results become more satisfying and the load you can bear increases.
I always used to look at mothers and think, 'I just don't have what it takes to be that kind of woman!' they always seemed so strong, sacrificial and loving, able to weather lifes' storms with amazing tenacity. I thought I would never be able to be like them.
I now see that I had the cart before the horse; they weren't this way until they became mothers. It was the long hours and hardships and ongoing workload that built the amazing stamina and strength that I so admired.
It didn't come easy for them and it doesn't come easy for us new mothers.
But as we persevere, we are developing amazing strength of character. We are being shaped and molded in this long season, ripped and healed so that we can be stronger than ever before, wiser than we have ever been and more selfless than we thought possible.
It is hard, but everything that is worth something is going to cost us.
Sometimes in mothering, it feels like our sanity!
But we are not going to lose our minds: we are ok; better than ok! We are doing great and it doesn't matter whether we are bench pressing 10 or 50; the important thing is that we are growing and moving forward, stronger this year than we were last year.
And that doesn't mean we can't have bad days!
Sometimes I think we are trying hard to be the people we already are.
We use our actions to try to prove that we are worthwhile and loveable and press on thinking that one day we will actually feel loved and worthwhile if we can just do enough.
But God knows our heart and He loves us for who we are; His creation, His precious children, not for what we do or where we are at in our journey.
I used to think the Proverbs 31 woman was an impossible standard.
And then God showed me something.
I am her.
And so are you.
Because deep down, we all have that God-given desire to be the best we can be for our families and those around us.
The desire may be buried beneath trauma, depression, confusion or discouragement, but look deep enough and it is there.
God has planted in each of us a desire to grow and be a blessing to those around us.
Its one of the beautiful qualities He has placed in His women. We reflect the beauty and mercy of God to our families and the people in our lives. The mother-heart and tenderness of our heavenly father.
It takes time to develop our character. Sometimes it takes time for the desire in our hearts to become translated into our actions and character. We often fall short, but we are getting there! And the great news is that our character does not define our worthwile to God. It may define how many friends you have and how happy you are, but it will NEVER define God's amazing love for you.
Sanctification is an ongoing process and God is with us every step.
So I think we all deserve a pat on the back whether we are bench pressing 100 or we are panting and puffing in between lifts.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know that it is also the best thing I will ever do.
So kudos to us all for today, I say, and strength and courage for tomorrow!
We are getting stronger and God is faithful! We love our families and they love us. What could be more blissful?
Mummy and Hanny, Christmas Day 2008
Oh and one more thing; I have friends and family who have not been able to have children, so I want to strongly say what I have just expressed is directed towards us mums, specifically, but women who can't have kids are just as incredible, strong and capeable as those of us that can.
Motherhood is the season that I am currently being shaped by.
For those who aren't mums, it will be some other incredible, challenging and worthwhile endeavour that the Lord is using to strengthen, challenge and develop you into the amazing woman you are destined to be.
So its not just mums but all of us women who rock and are blessed with an incredible ability to represent God's mercy on earth, whether to our own children or to someone elses.
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